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Trump Ends "Catch and Release"

That's right, Trump has brought an end to Biden's absurd Catch and Release policy, which treated illegal immigrants like wile animals and treated Border Patrol like game wardens.


Trump's move, although applauded by many, has drawn negative reactions most loudly from cats who fear it will be confused with their sacred Scratch and Relaase policy, which allows them to free themselves from being held against their will.


"Humans need to understand that cats are—by nature—psychotic murderers," says cat advocate Claude Armrest. "Being warm and comfortable can make cats suddenly and acutely uncomfortable." 

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Claude Armrest, Chair of the International Committee for Feline Independence, says even after several millennia of domestication, humans continue to hold cats against their will.

Armrest points to historical acceptance of the Scratch and Release policy since antiquity and across the cultural spectrum.


Armrest continues, "Even in modern times, Scratch and Release remains our most effective method for asserting our independence."

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Yankel Nebbish, author of “Cats Are Bipolar,” displays recent scars inflicted by his cat, Mister Bubbles. Nebbish holds the Guinness World Record for Most Cat-Scratched Human Still Living.

Others dismiss Scratch and Release as a distraction from the real issue and argue that the end of Catch and Release will have devastating unforeseen consequences:

Statistics: Posted by Colonel Obyezyana — 1/25/2025, 11:55 am — Replies 0 — Views 5



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